State of self-denial... <想念你的歌>

Been working very hard for the past 2 weeks, mainly is to get my mind off AQ. However I was too naive to think that by burying myself in tonnes of work, I am able to get on without thinking her. Was working AM shift today & when I reached home, I was pretty tired. Took a nap (which turned out to be a mistake) & I dreamt of her again. This is the 3rd time that I dreamt of her since after getting her email... To love someone is hard but to forget someone whom you love before is even harder...

是否曾经后悔过
那时候扶起说走就走
是否偶尔想过我
所以埋怨我
每当听你的下落
逞强常常让人无法负荷
躲起来边哭边说 i miss you
还舍不得把你封锁

星光闪烁如何拥有
站在远方才看见星空的轮廓
虽然有时候会寂寞
墙上时钟停格
你说放开手才会快乐
用半生的脉搏写成
想念你的歌

该怎么才能让你懂呢
谁对谁错已经模糊了忘记了
我们都处理得有点笨拙
已经从来没有像这一次如此爱过
想念常让我无法负荷
常常只有一个念头 i miss you
我的爱情从来没有死掉过

星光闪烁如何拥有
站在远方才看见星空的轮廓
虽然有时候会寂寞
墙上时钟停格
你说放开手才会快乐
用半生的脉搏写成
想念你的歌

我要快乐

I wonder how long I can numb myself from this issue... My heart tells me, 'Kev, stay strong, you have to be happy, alrite? Loving a person does not mean you have to be wif that person. As long as AQ is happy, you should feel happy too.'

又被爱伤了一遍
无所谓当作成长
刚刚走开的人
烟还点着味道却淡了

我并不是天生爱寂寞
却比任何人都多
就算把世界给我
我还是一无所有

我要快乐
我要能睡的安稳
有些人不抱了才温暖
离开了才不恨
我早应该割舍

我要快乐
哪怕笑的再大声
心不是热的全都是假的
只有眼泪是真的

把从前想了一遍
谢谢了伤我的人
想做乐观的人
每种雨声听了都不冷

我并不是天生爱寂寞
却比任何人都多
就算把世界给我
我还是一无所有

我要快乐
我要能睡的安稳
有些人不抱了才温暖
离开了才不恨我早应该割舍

我要快乐
哪怕笑的再大声
心不是热的全都是假的
我的决定是对的

Courage to move on...

I had finally hardened my heart and plucked my courage to adopt the following things that I had done... To be honest, I had never blamed her for the decision that she had made. Neither do I hate her. I am juz trying to move on wif my life & if any part of her still exist within myself, it wun be easy for me to move on. I nid to isolate & 'quarantine' myself totally from her...

1) Deleted all the emails that she had sent to me
2) Deleted all her pictures
3) Deleted all her sms-es she had sent to me for the past 1 yr
4) Deleted all the mms that I had sent to her before.
5) Deleted her from my Friendster account
6) Deleted her from my MSN Messenger
7) Blocking her from my MSN Messenger
8) Deleted her hp number from my number list

Time to move on???

我一路向北
离开有你的季节
你说你好累
已无法再爱上谁

AQ finally replied via email & I had to learn to move on w/o her in my life from today onwards. I can't understand why she cannot tell me the exact reason, is it so hard for her to tell me? A year of disappointment and hurt are simply too much for me to bear. I have collapsed within myself, I am plunged into an ocean of full of grievings...

Expect to see a change in personality of myself, guessed it's my fault to drag this issue for so long. If only I had been firm wif my decision during CNY...

It's my off day today...

For 2 consecutive Sundays, I am having my off day. This came as a surprise for me since I had my off day on last Sunday. Think Chief Uvaraja is kind to me since I am new to QRP. But well, manage to get some rest today, so that I can have enough energy to last for the whole of next week.

Simply can't wait to get back to work tomorrow coz I still wanna learn more things. Indeed, the workaholic nature in me still exist. =)

N/B: Long shift tomorrow, which means no World Cup Finals for me 2nite, boo hoo... =(